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building paper birds inside a photo of you;
i wish you could be happy sometimes.

printfactory [Jan. 13th, 2013-09:54 am]
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Based in Rhode Island, will travel for pay.

If any MUA & Designers would like to work together, please email: kristen walker kawalkerphotography@hotmail.com

** serious hard & working ** new friends & clients only, please!
FB: https://www.facebook.com/kawalkerphotography
Flikr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aprintfactory/

this journal can be personal. if you choose to read it, you're choice.
i do post photographs a lot so please, if taken tell me! And DO NOT CROP!

©kristen a. walker photography,
all rights reserved.
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(no subject) [May. 22nd, 2012-02:07 pm]
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if people are still upset about things that happened when i was nineteen and i've let it all go,
i think i'm in a much better place.
descisions made were very difficult, but right. : )
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(no subject) [May. 22nd, 2012-02:01 pm]
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woking full-time, i'm forgetting my shoots; i have so much to edit. weddings, engagements, and portraits, its been a very eventful month. though everything isn't always perfect i couldnt be happier. i hope to figure out what i should do for October. I have an oppertunity to work with Coffee Pond again traveling, making very good money.. but I'm hoping to keep my job i have now and work weekends as well. moving out with my love would come so quick if this would be in my favor. cross everything, i have a feeling my luck runs out when things like this come my way. seeing as how my mom was all for it, i may just take my chances again..
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keepwriting. [May. 2nd, 2012-09:26 pm]
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i have to catch up on my editing! i miss it, but lately i've been focusing on reality. would like to start gathering before and after shots. i think it's no longer something to hide but show off how i changed it;

what'mythinkin'?!

i've grown closer to justin more than i thought i could. cooking dinner&dates ♥ he's taught me a lot about myself just through how we are together. i'll keep em. we're the same in so many ways, but different in places i feel i need or else i would be bored. it's funny what time does, this time last year i don't think we were as sure and as happy. 

now i just need to pick up my camera and update the software on my computer and i'll be ready to go!
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(no subject) [Apr. 25th, 2012-08:37 pm]
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let it go. :)
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2012-09:35 pm]
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Krystal Gia
©kristen.a.walker photography
all rights reserved.
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2012-09:29 pm]
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spicy salmon roll, presented like a flower with this in the center :) hearty miso soup <3 love. best dinner :)

eating shushi and miso soup is pretty much my main meal.
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2012-09:22 pm]
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Krystal clean Headshots


©kristen.a.walker photography
all rights reserved.
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(no subject) [Mar. 8th, 2012-01:06 am]
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Fashion



everyday is different and i accept my challenges and keep going forward. i'm happy for the most part, the kinks i had were kicked to the curb when i started to realize what i want for my life, and truly understood it this time. i couldn't be more excited for NY, adventuring with my love.

life is complicated but have as much common decency as you can. learn to respect and listen. care and understand, or at least try. go forth no matter what anyone else says and stay positive. don't be quick to speak and make sure you do look back, you never want to make the same mistakes again.

though bad finances will always be the death of me, my curse from this world.. i think i'm the happiest i am able to be!
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(no subject) [Feb. 7th, 2012-03:12 am]
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Heather B.
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(no subject) [Feb. 7th, 2012-03:11 am]
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Kristin


still conflicted with my feelings. i wish he would at least try, so far i'm just waiting. i've been forgetful, very much. and lazy. but i'll be working witha jewelry artist, hand made, one of a kind craft. so work is surprisingly steady; an odd steady. my pockets are never empty. one day i'll just be able to share with you the things i see instead of blabbing about the things i do. somehow i find that more peaceful. i'm thinking of sunrises and adventures to the beach; maybe a fire somewhere. things i did before.
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(no subject) [Jan. 27th, 2012-11:19 pm]
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Heather<3


"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."

:l
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(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2012-05:03 pm]
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Sara P.


there are times when you feel great and you're on top of the world.
then there are times you don't feel so great and the world is on your shoulders.
right now i'm the latter of the two.
i could say somewhere in the middle,
but nah..
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(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2012-04:59 pm]
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daisy



besides going mad..
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(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2012-04:55 pm]
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Gia

Sarah


...this is what i've been doing.
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does this make sense? [Dec. 18th, 2011-07:53 pm]
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how small we are, and yet so lucky to have the privilege of seeing such beautiful things; hearing such beautiful things. this view, the wind, the silence; then laughter and joy from the amazing people who helped me through this hike. the world has it's people, it's problems, and it can be tough. though, we also have this.


if you can not find happiness or are having a hard time, i'd say simplifying what we usually make to be so great, and exploring the things we usually toss aside for later, may just be the only thing we need to understand it's really all not that bad, and can find the appreciation for what we already have. thus further on, bringing you happiness.
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(no subject) [Dec. 15th, 2011-05:43 pm]
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"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” ―
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friendswelcome [Nov. 26th, 2011-11:13 pm]
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/aprintfactory/

my new, better organized flickr account. :)
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(no subject) [Nov. 23rd, 2011-11:27 pm]
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IMG_2929

nitty gritty. teeth showing
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(no subject) [Nov. 23rd, 2011-11:24 pm]
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IMG_2911


there is nothing like making a cup of you, a mug of you, and going back to bed.. a bed.. and watching tv, probably the news in a zombie like state, smoke a cigarette; maybe half, pet the cat, and fall back to sleep. i miss the privacy i had when living with my father. that's probably all i miss. i've gotten three job responses, two interviews, but none that i foresee helping me to live on my own. i'll keep going..
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Perch Patchwork [Nov. 23rd, 2011-10:43 pm]
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(no subject) [Nov. 23rd, 2011-10:38 pm]
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clothes pin
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(no subject) [Nov. 23rd, 2011-10:35 pm]
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within the past two weeks, old friends that i haven't spoken to in over a year or so have contacted me in some form. the mornings i spend lonely most, sometimes sad, adventurous, tedious.. having no one around most of the time changes quiet, i can appreciate it, i can hate it, but differently. feel lonely something awful, but it's the state, i don't think it's the lack of people. i am interested in these old encounters that are suddenly arise. i'm not going to press forward too much though, i feel uncomfortable doing so, a little foolish. i'd rather take it as it comes.

anyway, here's some of Philly! :


la colombe. they filmed a part of it's always sunny.. here and justin and i are huge fans. he was such a nerd. ♥



occupy philly.



fake bell.
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(no subject) [Nov. 20th, 2011-06:12 pm]
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Philly was wonderful, i have to get out of here. Alone, or with. i don't care anymore. haven't had time to process my thoughts, editing might start late tonight, photographs to come.
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on top. [Nov. 16th, 2011-08:25 pm]
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IMG_2679

we only made it to the cliff when we hiked up the moutain. about 4hrs or so in total. toughest thing i've ever done, but so beautiful, youknow? worth the challenge.
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(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2011-06:59 pm]
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IMG_2671


philly is closer, tomorrow we're off around the evening or so. also, i have two interviews as of today. both portrait studios, but one more interesting than the other. i've been happy when busy, though as of late the lack of work was bringing me down. as soon as i was about to become low and doubt myself again, i get slammed with opportunities and if all pans out.. i could possibly be finding a new home. :)

very excited about the mini road trip vacation. one of my interviews is in the morning, so it's just this entire crazy day of awesome, difference and change and opportunity. i really can't sit still!
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(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2011-06:45 pm]
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IMG_2666

IMG_2664
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(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2011-06:42 pm]
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IMG_2597

a rose for a year. i like it. ♥
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breath. [Nov. 13th, 2011-10:15 pm]
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listen
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grit my teeth, just sigh and let it pass. [Nov. 12th, 2011-08:28 pm]
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for the past few days i've been waking up early and going to the gym. i like the difference. tomorrow i'm off to climb Mt. Greylocke in Mass. It's suppose to be apart of the Appalachian Trail. i'm going with my closest friends and some more people that i'll meet. being active is definitely what i needed for a pick-me-up. some time to hike, be around nature. gives me a chance to take more scenery photographs as well, which i lack so much of. faces are just too much fun for me.
i'm excited, such a busy week. Philly on Friday, we're leaving around 2am, planning all day.

pictures of all my travels, of course.

!!!
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(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2011-09:13 pm]
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i'm drinking wine, eating chocolate. getting ready for a mask and shower. i'm emotional and emotionless, depends on the subject. my anxiety kicked in when it was time for me to walk in the gym to sign up. but i bought sneakers and gym clothes so i'm making progress. tomorrow morning i'll go. i'm not completely losing all motivation so i'm not going to worry myself. all i keep thinking is if i just had a new lens oh, and a job... i should just go for it, the lens i mean, i've been job hunting erra day. maybe after Philly.

one year 11.9.10
yesterday. today was a better day, lets say that. but we've been having trouble so i don't focus on the actual date. i can't wait for next weekend and i hope it just brings us happiness. that's all we both need.
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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2011-02:57 pm]
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growing a pair, being more responsible, following through with what i've said i'd do lately might have paid off. (you should always do that but..) i've asked to take some time away from home with a special person and when i tried to go for it i remember he seemingly freaked out and acted as if it were pointless or stupid. but tomorrow is one year with said special person and now, suddenly we're planning a trip to Philly, or maybe some other place, but Philly is what's on the map as of now. what we'll do i don't know, but i'm so excited! time spent just the two of us, away from what we know and have known for days upon days; months, years.


i have too much to do in this world to be cooped up in some silly little state. i've got to get going places, seeing things. i just have too many things i need to accomplish, too many photographs i need to try and capture. too many and not enough.

getting older makes time seem faster, so to slow it down i need to keep up with things. never sit still and get too comfortable in the silence. be comfortable, but do not feel content with nothing.

you have to make the right decisions for yourself and how you feel. how can it benefit you in a positive way? and what exactly do you want in life? then go, decide. this is my opportunity to see what things may come of us.. well, i'm not riding this entire trip on my relationship, but it's something different for us. though this entire year has been and uphill battle i think we could take on the world, becoming two instead of just one changes all of everything. it's an adventure in itself.
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a friend. [Nov. 5th, 2011-01:19 am]
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recent fall photographs..

IMG_2561 IMG_2574



and i can't decide:

left or right?

IMG_2455-2 IMG_2455
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gettingintobloggingagain to clear my head. [Nov. 5th, 2011-01:14 am]
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I've been sleeping alright, although I could use a massage. And another job.

it's late but my car goes into the shop tomorrow so i'm venturing off to the 24hr walmart. (soon) not that his gift will be there, but it's our one year on Wed. and I'm not so sure what we're doing, but I'm sure I can find some ideas for a new collage. Maybe two, so I can have another one for Christmas again like last year. I don't know how I can top the first, but I'm going to try. I think for our year I'm going to make a time line of funny happier things we did, so we can focus more on that. I hope it brings him some happiness because it seems the tables have turned and he's blue most of the time. my love.

so, i did this today:

00008848-01
86806952-02 00024970-02 00026310-09
and in light pink / black.


also bought a coat and gloves and slipper shoes from Target.

No more clothes! I need a new external hard drive and at least one new lens.

I paid up to date on my school loan though, so I did do something productive. :)

My goal for next summer is to run a 5k. So I've decided to join the gym, quit smoking (ah!) and start toning up my body like I've been wanting to do for the past year. I'm going to start doing the things I say. Feels better, living honest.
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hiccups. [Nov. 1st, 2011-05:06 am]
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i'm heating up this little apartment with the stove. i'm cold, and it's very late or early if i had slept. i've been off focus lately, troubled in my mind. trying to keep myself at peace but it's hard. i'm finding the less i talk to unnecessary people the better i am and my efforts made to see people i need in my life is helping me.

my reliance is getting even more slim with people close to me and it's strange because of who they are. (reliance in a sense of trust.) i'm not okay with this but i'm not hurt by it either, so i let it, and i'll act accordingly to their wishes.

people don't usually expect you to take step back immediately when asked. they never know what they want and usually end up feeling insulted when someone listens to their complaints; like you're mocking them, but i'm only listening. financially i am so happy i'll be able to take care of a lot myself. and i won't have to ask for help, hopefully for a bit. i have no problem doing so, help is good. those who choose to do everything alone could end up alone; too much pride. i won't ever be so. but i am tired of people throwing in my face what they've done for me like i'm not thankful. a true person would only take care of what they see needed done, out of care or concern, and never have another thing to say about it.

my sensitivity and then the courage i gain to ask should have people knowing how appreciative i am whether they help or not, in any case. even a phone call. i could make more of a tangible effort to show it, since that's how i feel most people go by. i'm just not material. i say things and mean it, and feel it so deep.

growing up amongst the rest.
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(no subject) [Oct. 19th, 2011-02:23 pm]
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looking at photographs of yourself can be weird when you stare at so many other faces all day almost every day. you notice things about yourself that would probably make you have the absolute most perfect face, according to society. looking at some of my self portraits i found myself thinking, if i just had a little bit of my nose cut... skinnier? ( i don't even understand plastic surgery or overly done changes to the body.) [ tattoo's i consider to be an art form of some kind; talented drawers and maybe painters with a human canvas. ]

i have to stop myself from even thinking that way. i already know i would never do it, but i truly believe i wouldn't appreciate myself as much as i would if i grew to love who i already am; what i'll become. face different, , Mind different, size different, (although momma needs some gym time to tone up), i couldn't see myself as someone else. my circumstances i could see similar in kind with someone else, but my body and soul? no. self control can shape me into what in my mind is most perfect. [in God's eyes]
knowing self, understanding self, accepting self, loving self.
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(no subject) [Oct. 17th, 2011-03:04 pm]
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family can be toxic, friends can be toxic. when people are use to you a certain way and you change, majority of them aren't going to like it. they'd rather see you fall back, and then laugh (jealousy) and pretend they were always rooting for you. whatever anyone else has ever thought in the past, the future is completely different. some like to stick to their old ways but i want something more, and i want to be more, so you have to change to get there, i have to change to be that. no better than or worse than. just different. a better difference in myself, but no better than what anyone else is doing for themselves.

moving is going to be a challenge now that i have no potential roommates. relying on people in any way has always failed so maybe this is a sign. though, living with my mother will just ruin me and the things that i worked hard for, staying is probably my only option, not forever, but a couple months longer than i would have liked. i never have any privacy and if i do anything to try and enjoy myself, like simply watching something on the computer, i'm inconveniencing her. i feel like my father sometimes, and i understood why he hid from people. this isn't good. but i understand.

i feel this is going to cause me more stress if i don't find some middle ground. i'd ask for help, but i've overdone that. and people tend to push me away.
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(no subject) [Oct. 12th, 2011-05:45 pm]
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no one can construct for you the bridge upon which precisely you must cross the stream of life, no one but you yourself alone.] -friedrich nietzsche
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one glass, good for the heart. [Oct. 10th, 2011-02:25 am]
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today was a beautiful day, everything about it. i talked to a friend and realized change is good and i'm going in the right direction. assurance is all i ever ask for, friends can help give that.

i met more of justin's family, warm and welcoming and wine. the drive down was relaxing, the sun was a blanket and the foliage is starting to show. i like the orange-redish trees. being shown love and being given positive energy about our relationship by his family is a good feeling. and help for a good start to the week. smiled; all of today.

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(no subject) [Oct. 7th, 2011-11:05 am]
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focusing on my career and relationship seems like all the time i'm going to be given. it wasn't all i had, but now it is. i met the wrong disgusting, no use for much except what they felt obligated to do, kind of people and stuck by then for no good reason. i chose to lean, or more like fall on friends to help, like a mother or father should help. obviously that's wrong, and obviously that can't exist; for me. it's weird having those once friends as acquaintances. brushing up on my small talk (or i don't really give a fuck talking to you, or hearing what you're doing now. you're boring,) conversations.

this winter is probably going to be even longer. but in a little while i'll forget, or it won't sting, and i'll have someone or something else to share my time.
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rip steve [Oct. 6th, 2011-11:03 pm]
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"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."


so fucking go away, you crazy.
read this too?
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a leaf falling. [Sep. 9th, 2011-05:21 pm]
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i moved in with my mother, which is basically i sleep on the couch after coming in at 2 or 3 in the morning, to be up at 9 and leaving. I could stay all day, I just don't want to. Though, the best thing to come of this is that I got to keep Lyla. ♥ i'm really happy about that. broke my heart everyday knowing something she didn't.

the only thing that upsets me is i have no friends at all. i can't even tell you how many people disregard that statement when i say it, but i don't want to go further with what i mean when i tell someone i feel that way. justin's been the best person i have ever met in my life. ever. people have done a lot for me; helped, cared, but his time spent, the kindness and care, the genuine look on his face when he is feeling anything i feel; there is nothing else to compare. i love him and our relationship, but the separate trials we're going through is killing me. i'm staying strong with mine, and trying my best to be there for him all that i can. i'm afraid he may pull away..



i drove to Pembroke, Ma today for a shoot, K-6. way better than photographing high schoolers who think they know it all, or they think they're hysterical and actually they're annoying. i guess you lose respect at 14 now. i was late on that i suppose.

so work is good, i love my relationship, but now there's STILL a void. i can't complain too much because i know i am more fortunate than many, despite my living conditions; family condition. but i have no other closeness to anyone like the way i feel for him. he's my best friend and then my boyfriend. everyone should have good people in their life so you don't just rely on that one person for everything.

i feel like i'm good enough for people to take from, but not good enough to give, unless it's an obligation. it gets to the point where i cry and just feel like i don't have anything anymore, but i know i do. so why does it hurt so bad?
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(no subject) [Sep. 4th, 2011-04:23 pm]
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doing things i'm not comfortable with but are right for me is hard, it would be for anyone. but i'm going in a different direction and i can't have anyone hold me back, bring me down; misery loves company. again losing people, and again i can't care.
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(no subject) [Aug. 23rd, 2011-06:49 pm]
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don't even have to the end of the month anymore, but what's the difference anyhow? everyones life is troubled all around me and it's impossible to shake it off. i'm moving most of my things tomorrow, i have a shoot in the morning and then the rest of the day i'll move, then edit all night and on to the next day, while preparing for my first wedding shoot. and i have to find a home for Lyla, which i probably won't, because i know absolutely no one. i don't want her in a shelter, people are so evil. i think everything will happen so quick i'll regret not trying harder for her after this all concludes.. if it does.

i'll have a week after the wedding to get everything organized and have met up with the bride to talk about a table book, then i start work. is this possible? yes. yes? it is if i numb myself up


ah whatever
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Earl Grey de la Crème [Aug. 16th, 2011-10:46 pm]
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i need a book that will keep me so occupied i can stay up all night until i've finished. or art, more art, more creativity. like how the Perks of Being A Wallflower was for me when i was 15. That, the Catcher in the Rye, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, Killing Yourself to Live, Diary. i keep writing, it's not completely filling the void.

or good music, more music. more places i should go to photograph. more faces i can photograph in those places. more money, i never really ask for money, but i would like to buy hard drive and completely clean out my computer so i can work and work on more and more.

no time, never. my head is heavy and my shoulders hurt from carrying it.
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(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2011-12:10 am]
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getting use to being alone. it's okay. (as is: no one is on the same page as me. everyone can still cry and moan. still having the choice to sit and complain about everything wrong comfortably, rather than deal with it [uncomfortable]) so i'm distancing my head.. leaving more room to create. if i can't live a life with people, i'll live life in photographs, words, art.art.art. like i dreamt about ten years ago.
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brain laundry. [Aug. 10th, 2011-10:51 pm]
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reality is really hitting, and it hurts but feels right at the same time. change is in order (it has been, it's past due, i'm sitting in filth now) change is good a chance to become (feel) clean; a fresh start. the only thing serious; worth the worry (concentration, planning out) is where i'll be sleeping and when will i have a home again? preferably my own.

it's funny how when life (living) starts to get difficult how many people find themselves unavailable. it's funny when things also change whether good or bad people find their reasons to disassociate themselves with you instead of trying to become apart of it, staying your friend. trying to continuously "enjoy each other's company, be useful to one another, and share a common commitment to the good." common commitment to the good. i am only trying to better what i've been handed. i cannot help what i have if it's bad unless i change it myself. so i go...

we all have something, struggle is everywhere. still i try to pursue to help. you cannot ask the same for others. everyones strength is different. so you must do what you can, always. and do not hide away from the ones who leave you hanging low. it shows much more character to never be spiteful.

though at this time i am not hiding, i am continuously refraining my mind into completely comprehending what's going to happen in the next two weeks, because i cannot predict how i will feel. i will take it as it comes. i will cry if i want to, i will laugh and pretend. i will go and go and go.

so my decisions are a little spontaneous at times and i find myself more impulsive or just laying around at justins if i can. sort of waiting. for? idunno.

in doing this, i have never really felt so completely alone even when knowing i am completely not. i have as much support as i'm going to get, so i will do with what i have. but it's all on me. so i feel alone because i've always been that kind of person who wanted to be apart of something, do something together with someone, a team; a stable family. but sometimes, more often than not, you will have to do things on your own. 24? this is only great practice.

i hope to find some peace. a steady line? my swag is calm, i'm looking upward stressfully. so i am happy in some ways, but with what's current, and most important, i am not.

i find myself separating from my family for awhile so i can be who i was meant to, i feel as though they are holding me back. not in the selfish way. we're growing apart.. and i can spend another 24 years trying to keep "fixing" everything, or i can try and live. remember when all i wanted was to die..? no, not anymore.

exhausted, but i'll still go.
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(no subject) [Aug. 10th, 2011-09:37 pm]
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©kristen a. walker photography,
all rights reserved.

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(no subject) [Aug. 1st, 2011-08:58 pm]
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i haven't sat and thought to write in a long time. so much has happened i'm not sure where to start. usually it's with what's wrong in my life but i can't start somewhere because it's almost everywhere. circles, all day erra day. figuring out what i'm becoming, trying to understand through the process and live up with great potential. second interview for a photography job, school photos but hey, it's an open door


http://printfactory.tumblr.com/


i have to start writing more, i'm really uncertain of what to say.
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life... [Jul. 11th, 2011-11:24 pm]
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IMG_3836

IMG_1283 IMG_1284

i miss her, i love him, i'll still love her always ♥
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